Welcome back to the Early Legacy!
Last time: Zenobia and Alex tried their best to raise 4 unruly children (and one weird dog). There were a lot of pranks and arguments, attempted incest, and general wackiness.
Important news! (1) I installed reshade; (2) dinosaurs!!!
Here’s Yeira, contemplating how to turn her younger brothers into her own model skeleton…
And here’s Yasmine practicing speeches about why chocolate milk is the superior milk.
hashtag epic dino chess match
While the kids were wreaking havoc at the library, Zenobia and Alex dusted off their rusty woohoo skills.
*throws confetti*
I love Yeira, truly, but she’s…A Lot.
Why are you like this.
Alex: “What is your issue, kid?”
Zenobia and Alex really do the bare minimum when it comes to parenting—mostly, they just goof off together.
I love them.
Yeira strikes again…
Poor Yarrow 
Alex is making a documentary about gentrification.
Alex: “An empty pool in the winter…yes, the perfect metaphor…”
Since harassing siblings wasn’t enough, Yeira decided to bother her cousins.
Cousin: “This is why we don’t invite your part of the family over for Snowflake Day.”
Waffle face?
Hell naw, girl. This is lobster face—Zenobia Early is way too fancy for mere waffles.
Yasmine is far too “mature” to participate in the Early family video game tournament. (she claims)
Yarrow, a pure good soul.
<333
Not again.
*action music plays*
Zenobia likes to watch…
Alex got promoted to distinguished director! Swanky, masterful, dapper.
Yarrow made nice with the cousins.
Aww, look at Yoel, happy for once in his short life.
Happy birthday, Yoel!
Noo, he’s too cute! Yoel’s new trait is loves the outdoors.
And here’s a montage of Zenobia collecting random animals, just because.
#1: snek
#2: lizard boi
#3: chip’n’dale
At home, Yoel managed to make friends with Sweets (aka Creepy Dog).
First snow!
Winter festival time.
Nice.
I still love them.
Yikes!
Thanks, I hate it.
Home again.
All tired out.
Nap time, pt. 2
Zenobia’s chief parenting skill is kicking her kids’ butts at SimarioKart.
All hail the rightful queen.
Ma’am. Ma’am! This is not the time to show off your legs.
Happy birthday to baby Yarrow!
Yarrow’s new trait is loves the heat.
Time to fight against advancing age (by stinking up the living room).
Now that they’re both in high school, Yeira decided to call a truce with Yarrow.
lol just kidding
Poor lil dude.
Sweets on the prowl.
Yasmine in a winter wonderland
Sisterly bonding.
Yoel. Why. Just why.
Well, guess we’re going through a rebellious phase, then.
Pranked.
Pranked again.
Pranked again again.
Evil on the prowl…
These kids are legitimately exhausting, ngl.
Alex is trying to hire some local talent for a new Art Film about the human condition.
Alex: “No, no…I need passion…brilliance…vibes…”
Alex: “YES. Yes! You will be my heroine.”
…what the hell, Alex. Seriously???
He refused to extinguish himself, and honestly? That’s fine. Whatever. Kill yourself if you wanna.
To be an artist is to suffer.
Zenobia was also useless, as expected. Luckily, the fire department showed up.
The day is saved! (sorta)
I got nothing for ya, my friend.
Meanwhile, Yarrow was off harrassing his uncles.
💩
Because it’s not conspicuous at all to stand 10 feet away and giggle. Nope.
Cornbread the womrat died.
Woe.
A man and his not-so-faithful pooch.
Study party with various cousins.
I don’t remember the cousins’ names, but Cinammon’s red hair gene is strong af.
Yasmine applied to uni!
She then proceeded to brag about her scholarship §§§ to the poor cousins. Real polite.
Don’t think Yeira’s umbrella is very effective…
And the babies are finally growing up! Happy birthday, Yasmine.
Yasmine’s traits are eco-friendly, star quality, perceptive, irresistible, and brave. She wants to be a pervasive private eye.
Yeehaw!
Yarrow continues to be a pure dumb child.
Ugh, homework.
Happy Love Day, y’all!
Their relationship is Red Hot (apparently).
Night fishing, frogs, stalker horses—so much to talk about here, so little time.
Another one! Happy birthday, Yeira!
Yeira’s traits are kleptomaniac, loves the heat, mean spirited, natural cook, and proper. She wants to steal a bunch of shit, I guess.
Sir? Sir, that’s my emotional support himbo.
Uni application face!
Uni application face, pt. 2
They may be adults, but the antics never change.
Yarrow: “Sisters.”
The aging up madness continues. Happy birthday, Yoel!
Yoel’s traits are angler, eco-friendly, grumpy, loves the outdoors, and vegetarian. He wants to curate a perfect private aquarium.
Zenobia and Alex gettin’ stoked about becoming empty nesters.
Yarrow + the stars
Yarrow will forever be a himbo, but maybe a scientist himbo?
Graduation for 3/4 of the kids!
(an outtake from Alex’s ~very artistic~ home family video)
And finally: the baby. Happy birthday, Yarrow!
Yarrow’s traits are computer whiz, handy, animal lover, loves the heat, and clumsy. He aspires to become a creature-robot cross breeder.
Too. Pure.
Somebody gave Zenobia a megaphone and I, personally, feel that was a mistake.
…
I said what I said.
Alex really wasn’t prepared to witness his wife’s death today.
She done fucked up.
Surprise, bitches. Bet you thought you’d seen the last of her!
Alex is going to need hella therapy after this.
All hail our one true queen, Zenobia Early.
And with that death-defying feat, generation two and the adventures of Zenobia come to an end. Next time, the family moves, the heir is declared, and even more pets with a bad attitude are added to the family.
See you in generation three!
And don’t forget to check out the family tree and family portrait gallery, now newly updated!!
muckleberri 