Welcome back to the Early Legacy!
Last time: Cinnamon and Teddy raised their two sons; they had a party for Snowflake Day; after having their birthdays, Cinnamon and Teddy had a disastrous date.
We begin with Teddy making a very important phone call.
The Earlys adopted a dog! Meet Cheeto.
I love him.
Zephyr, for one, was ecstatic about a new dog.
Zion just preferred to play with blocks because he’s weird, but anyway…
Zephyr: “Onward, stripedy steed!”
Zephyr: “Blehhh, you look like this when you fart.”
Zion: “And you look like this when you try to tie your shoes!”
Cheeto: “This my food.”
Teddy tried to teach Cheeto some tricks.
For once, things went well in this save!
The Earlys took a trip to the library one rainy afternoon.
Teddy used the whiteboard to try and figure out the family’s finances (which are a mess).
Cinnamon…read a book? What?! Is she feeling okay??
Exercise for Cheeto.
Teddy had to work on his fishing skill for promotions—he’s pretty close to reaching the top of his career!
Zephyr: “Moooom! Zion’s making fun of me again!”
Cheeto is very offended by this plate, y’all. Just rude.
Like many middle-aged white men, Teddy tried to take up golf.
At least he tried?
Father/son picnic!
Zion and Zephyr played a game of gnubb.
While Teddy pondered the nature of chess (also a thing that boring middle-aged white men do tbh).
Spring sunset.
On Love Day, the family went to the spring festival!
Smoooooch.
Cinnamon: “I’m getting a vision…I see…FUCK, my husband’s making out with an old lady!!!”
Cinnamon: “You literally were kissing here two feet away from me, how stupid do you think I am?”
Teddy refused to apologize like a real shithead, so things went downhill real fast.
Yikes.
Anyway. That was how Cinnamon Early got divorced on Love Day. Cool story, right?
Simlexa, play “Crying in the Shower” playlist.
Luckily, Cinnamon got to keep the dog in the divorce!
Good Cheeto.
What a good, good squishy-faced boy ❤
Zephyr: “I henceforth declare myself lord and rule of Castle Early. Bedtimes are abolished!”
Zephyr: “The king has spoken!”
Upstairs, Zion was having his birthday.
Nice! Zion’s new trait is good, plus over-emotional, eccentric, and computer whiz.
He’s got a big-kid bike now!
Zephyr: “So, Mom, just to be clear…Dad’s not coming back?”
Cinnamon: “Nope, sorry kid.”
The boys went to the community center after school.
Hey, Teddy!
Zion: “You have some nerve trying to talk to me, Dad. You literally had your tongue down a stranger’s throat while we all watched.”
Needless to say, Zion isn’t Teddy’s biggest fan.
Zephyr is a pure and precious bean.
Tug of war!
I love this nutty family and their wacky dog.
Cinnamon met up with Leo, a random friend of hers who called her up out of the blue.
They sang some karaoke…
And they ~took some pictures~
hashtag Stride of Pride
Cinnamon: “OH MY PLUMBOB!”
Cinnamon: “My ass looks fantastic!”
At home, Zephyr was working through his feelings.
Time to make some breakfast!
Waffle face!
Cheeto: “Waffle for me, Cheeto, an good boi?”
He protecc
Hmm…
Looks like Cinnamon brought something home from that photobooth.
Regal boy
Zephyr is practicing his pick-up lines in case any of the other 4th grade kids seem like good romantic prospects…
Zephyr: “How you doin’?”
Yes, police, I’d like to report a murder.
Ope, there it is! Cinnamon’s expecting a baby from her one night stand.
She tried to call Leo and tell him the news, but she kept getting voicemail. Oh well.
Speaking of romance: Zion met up with his classmate, Kristina, at the public garden.
Sadly, Kristina already has a boyfriend.
Zion: “This is awkward as hell.”
Zion: “What are you looking at, creep?”
Cinnamon: “Hello, is Leo there? Oh…he moved? Do you have his number? Um…okay.”
Time for Zephyr to age up! Happy birthday, kid.
Zephyr’s new trait is friendly, plus heavy sleeper, social butterfly, and technophobe.
Taking Cheeto on a walk.
Zephyr: *whistles innocently*
Cinnamon: “Why didn’t I put them in boarding school…?”
The boys skipped school to go fishing.
Zion caught a fish!
Zephyr…caught a very smol fish.
Wow, dramatic.
They are beauty, they are grace.
Never mind.
Zephyr is SO PURE.
Well, we’re just going to end this chaotic dumpster fire of an update with this malfuntioning washing mashing and wonky OMSP. Enjoy!
As always, thanks so much for reading. Hope to see you next time, in which the Early family continues to write the book on “How to Be Dysfunctional.”
muckleberri 